I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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