There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
