I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
