I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
