Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
