didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
