he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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