It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
