Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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