Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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