What a fucking waste of an outfit
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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