Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
