I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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