let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
there is puke in my bra ... again
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