trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
