they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
