my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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