How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
