guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
