Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
