i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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