There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize