If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
