i think my tv is drunk
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
