Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
