He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
