Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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