Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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