hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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