nut hugger
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's just like the Real World with babies
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize