It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize