whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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