it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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