In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
