you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
