I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
