it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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