Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
