i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
