I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize