You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
