he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
