At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
