you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
