You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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