great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
