office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
