When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
