he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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