Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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