did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize