well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
