I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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