eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
