i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
