how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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