we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
