then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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