Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
