that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
