Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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