I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
