I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
