i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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