ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
