butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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